FUNNY EMAIL MESSAGES

Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes? 

  

If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed! 

  


  

  

(A} Almost Boobs... 

  

{B} Barely there. 

  

{C} Can't Complain! 

  

{D} Dang! 

  

{DD} Double dang! 

  

{E} Enormous! 

  

{F} Fake. 

  

{G} Get a Reduction. 

  

{H} Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up ! 

  

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, 'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife.

  

What type of bra?' asked the clerk. 

  

Type?' inquires the man, 'There's more than one type? 

  

Look around,' said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, colour and material imaginable. 

  


  

  

Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from. 

  

Relieved, the man asked about the types. The saleslady replied: 

  

There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer? 

   


  

  

Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them. 

  

The Saleslady responded, 'It is all really quite simple... 

  


  

  

The Catholic type supports the masses. 

  

The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen, 

  

The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright, and 

  

The Baptist makes mountains out of mole hills. 

  


  

  

A little boy was doing his math homework. 

He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...." 

His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, What are you doing?" 

The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom." 

"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. 
"Yes," he answered. 

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?" 

The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." 

The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" 

After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college.

There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.

“Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?”

“Negative ma'am. Just serious bynature.”

The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, “It looks like you have seen a lot of action.”

“Yes, ma'am, a lot of action.”

The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, “You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.”

The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.

Finally the young lady said, “You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?” “

1955, ma'am.”

“Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean no sex since 1955!” 

She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to 'relax' him several times.

Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, “Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955!”

The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his serious voice, “I hope not, it's only 2130 now.”

(Don't you love military time?!)